People who make bold decisions have the distinguishable traits of expectation, resourcefulness and self-belief. Bold choices are made by those who expect their decisions to serve them. They have the emotional fitness and psychological strength to find creative possibilities. They live on their own terms. They have someone or a group of people inspiring them and holding them accountable to their standards. They make massive shifts and they make them often. These people are progressive, energised and real. Real is something that remains the same. Our soul has the same dependability when we listen to it. All success stories will one way or other tell you about the faith that person placed in themselves and all defeatists will tell you the opposite.
Our experiences reveal what is going on inside ourselves. People not experiencing their personal definitions of success are not doing what they need to be doing. All people want success, it’s our definitions that vary.
Achieving great change begins when we realise that we are responsible for it. By this point we’ll know that time spent waiting for others to change is as futile as trying to re-enter the birth canal. Waiting for life to fundamentally plant you on your ass can work but most are not fortunate enough to have that opportunity. We know that when people face life-threatening experiences, most tend to succeed and prosper so why wait? Failure is a demon to many that’s why.
When we detour into a fear of failure we become victim to a sea of negative thoughts and we end up doing ‘nothing’. The only real failure here is our ignorance to the fact that doing nothing is actually far more damaging than trying.
Bold action is taken when people have a preparedness to fail. Thomas Edison failed over 10,000 times. Henry Ford had no education, no capital and no confidence so he got himself a coach- his wife. The average fails before quitting is very low. Those who accept failure as defeat spend the rest of their lives angry about it. Hitler who wanted to be an artist and was refused art school found it easier to launch an attack on the world than face the potential for another artistic rejection.
Conquering limitations is about finding the individual source of strength that animates us and amplifying that ability. The bold are inspired by people who genuinely want to see them succeed. I saw this play out in a London park 15 years ago. A group of people stood in a circle clapping and cheering as one by one they moved to the centre and clumsily demonstrated moves of capoeira. They clapped and cheered for each other and each person slowly picked up new abilities. The spirit of this group was so embracing that those of us watching were smiling and laughing just as much as they were. 10 paces away was another group in a circle using a football. This group were demonstrating pretty skilled ‘keepie uppies’, but those who dropped ball were shouted at and belittled for doing so. One by one the ‘failures’ dropped out, their body postures flattened and they began kicking at each other instead. An hour later the caporeria group were still dancing and others were nowhere to be seen.
John Lennon said “There are two basic motivating forces- fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all life has to offer with passion, excitement and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open hearted vision of people who embrace life”.
Poppy Sprague
HCPC/BPS Chartered Psychologist
poppy@poppysprague.com